When Maria Grette first discovered that the 58-
year-old Danish man with whom she had fallen in
love was actually a 24-year-old Nigerian 419
internet scammer, the 62-year-old Swede was
distraught. But, soon, her feelings changed.
"The most terrible thing was not that he had
cheated me, but that he had lost his innocence,"
she said.
She became consumed with what she describes
as "a profound need to make a difference to the
people of Nigeria".
Ms Grette's relationship with Johnny (not his real
name) began after an evening of fun and games
with her girlfriends, during which they playfully
created a profile for her on an online dating
website. A few years before, she had gone
through a traumatic divorce, and her friends
teased her about finally starting a new
relationship.
But when the fun of creating her profile was
over, Ms Grette, who works as an arts teacher,
painter and arts therapist, didn't give much
further thought to the website.
"I received messages telling me that people had
contacted me, but I never looked at them," she
said.
Then, one day, she did.
"I still don't know why," she said. "It was like a
sudden impulse happening before I could stop
it."
That particular message was from a man who
described himself as a Dane raised in South
Carolina, USA; a civil engineer working on a
contract in England; a widower with a son in a
Manchester university.
"I was caught up by the atmosphere and by
something in his words," she said.
The preamble
Johnny: "I wish I could see through your eyes
and see what you like to see"
Maria: "I like to see the truth, and often the truth
is more beautiful and greater than people dare to
realize"
Johnny: "You talk in parable´s. I can´t wait to
see you"
Maria: "I cant understand how you can think so
dedicated of me, when you have never met me.
That scares me."
"We spent some time writing, then he called from
a UK number."
Ms Grette, who had lived in different countries
across Europe, was surprised that she could not
place the man's accent. She mentioned this to
him but didn't give it too much thought.
He told her that he was planning for his
retirement; had Sweden in mind for a place to
settle; owned a house in Denmark inherited from
his parents; wanted to leave that to his son,
Nick, who was very attached to it, while he
looked for a new home for himself in Sweden.
"I wanted to meet him because I liked him," she
said. "He had a way and a sweetness I had never
known in a man before. And he was innocent in a
way that puzzled me."
Ms Grette put all these qualities down to "an old
fashioned upbringing and an isolated life - living
in hotels and spending his free time on golf
courses owing to much travelling".
After three months of communicating, the man
agreed to come over and visit her in Sweden.
But before that, he and his son needed to make
a quick trip to Nigeria for a job interview, he said.
Johnny called to let her know that he was at
Heathrow Airport. And to say that he had landed
in Nigeria. He also got her to speak with Nick.
The next phone call was to tell her that he was
in a Lagos hospital.
They had been mugged, his son shot in the head,
and they were without money and papers.
Unfortunately, his bank did not have a branch in
Africa, he added, so it would take time to
transfer money from his UK account. Meanwhile,
the hospital management was requesting €1000
to proceed with treatment.
The request
"Honey, I am in the hospital right now using the
doctor´s laptop to send you this message so you
can know my situation. Honey, if Nick dies I will
also die with him, I have been crying, I wish I
could call you, I wish I never came here, I will
never forgive myself for bringing Nick along with
me. I will call you with the doctor´s phone and
send you an email later if I have the chanse.
"Honey, I am happy to hear from you and I am
still at the hospital. The doctor said we where
lucky we where not kidnapped. The bank does
not have a location in Africa, so it will take time
to get money and the management are
requesting 1000 euros to proceed with
treatment. Nick is all I have got and I will not
forgive myself if anything happens to him. I am
confused, and I do not know where to turn at the
moment......"
"I will never forget how I rushed to the Western
Union office, trembling while I did the transfer,"
Ms Grette said.
"All I could think of was to get the two persons
in Nigeria out of danger."
The plot developed after that initial transfer.
Medical complications called for more money.
The doctors demanded more advance fees.
Several thousands of euro later, in what she
describes as "coming to her senses", Maria
realised that something was amiss.
She stopped responding to his messages.
Three weeks after her silence, he called her and
confessed. He told her that he was not who she
thought he was.
"I said I already knew that. I asked him to tell
me his true identity and he did."
He was a 24-year-old Nigerian 419 scammer. He
had finished university two years earlier but had
no job.
He further described himself as a "devil" who
had wronged "a lovely woman".
"He said he had never met anyone like me
before, that he had been fighting his feelings for
me for a long time. He said his scamming mates
had warned him about falling in love with a
'client', that he had ignored them because he
trusted me and did not want to lose contact with
me."
The reveal
From this point on, their communication took a
new turn. There were no further requests for
cash.
"The attraction I started feeling was to the
person who was revealing himself to me... It
was still him, but with a new name and different
age and circumstances," she said.
Johnny sent her a photograph of himself, but
Maria was not satisfied with that.
"I wanted to meet him," she said. "I could not
live with this relationship unless it was adjusted
to reality in all senses."
Unable to get him a visa to travel to Sweden, she
made up her mind to go to Nigeria.
In October 2009, Ms Grette travelled to Africa for
the first time in her life.
"When I saw him at the airport in Abuja, tears fell
over his face, and I knew I had known him all my
life."
Ms Grette described her two weeks in Nigeria as
blissful, a period during which she and Johnny
succeeded in transforming their romantic feelings
for each other into a good friendship.
She met his friends, many of whom were also
scammers. It was while enjoying their company
one night in a local bar that she began to wonder
how she could make a difference.
"I asked myself what I could do to prevent a
situation where healthy, good young men fall into
this trap," she said.
An idea came to her two years later, in 2011,
after she saw an article on a Nigerian news
website about an arts exhibition.
Over the past six years, Ms Grette has arranged
for a number of African artists to visit Europe for
arts exhibitions, workshops, conferences and
competitions.
She has assisted them to source international
grants and other funding to advance their work.
She has also visited Uganda to give talks on art,
and is looking forward to another visit to Nigeria
scheduled for later this year.
Ms Grette, now 69 and living in Norway, is elated
at the opportunity to improve the lives of these
young artists.
"Johnny has given me more than he took," she
said, "Without him, I would not have met Africa."
When she'd visited him in Abuja, Johnny
promised Ms Grette that he would give up
scamming.
With her assistance, he left Nigeria shortly
afterwards, to study in America.
Although they have not met each other again
since, she continued to provide him with financial
assistance until he completed his degree a few
years ago and got a job in the American oil
sector.
They still communicate frequently, updating
themselves on each other's lives; and last year,
he bought one of her paintings which she
shipped over to him in America.
"He is very dear to me," she said.
"He has asked me so many times to forgive him
and I told him that the most important thing is to
forgive himself."By chibabynaija1
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